Today's Scores

Cubs 4
Brewers 1

Phillies 7
William & Mary 3

Werner Klemperer 4
influenza 2

box seats 5
male urinary symptoms 2

German Shepherds 4
Chinese Checkers 1

girl scout cookies 6
the magic bullet 1

rush hour 1
meandering 9

your blog 2
my blog 3

waning moons 6
waxing nostalgic 2

hunting 3
wandering through the meat packing district 5

Tim Lincecum 5
Wild Thing 2

making something with your hands 8
twittering 1

safe 5
out 1

nasal spray 8
crime sprees 5

Oswald 2
what Flipper thought about between takes 4

dinner 4
supper 7

silent auctions 2
loud shirts 7

their mental capacity 2
your crazy bone 9

Facebook 1
books 14

quiet contemplation 7
Christianity 1

the Cub's chances 2
symbolism in The Brady Bunch 8

Jeff Beck 11
Jimmy Fallon 0

Why does my computer suck donkey dicks so much lately?

and that's just kinda a rhetorical question.
But first off in keeping with the political correctness and niceness that is seemless universe i have to here now state publicly that I in no way have any disregard for donkey dicks in general. Hell, some of my best friends are donkey dicks. (CUT TO: my friends reading this line (right now!) and wondering if they are in fact, donkey dicks) (Of course I wasn't talking about YOU, [insert your name here]!).
What I'm saying is i have nothing against donkey dicks. really. Unless one is dating my daughter in which case I'd say something like, "I HAVE A DAUGHTER??!!" But then i would calm down and get down to the facts at hand which are: No daughter of mine is dating a donkey dick. And the second fact is: I sincerely and truly just wanted to write a post about how bad my computer is running these days and I keep getting sidetracked with donkey dick references. Damn!!! See??!! But the third fact is: once you go down the donkey dick reference road it is hard to get off. this is true. The fourth fact is my computer sucks donkey dicks lately.
and it's because of . .no not that.
It's because i Upgrayd'd.
mac 10.5.6 or somesuch shit. a month ago i upgraded (misnomer) to this operating system and now most of the good software i used works like shit. (SEE: donkeys dicks/ suck).
Here's some details
Photoshop won't even open. This is a software I use ALOT. But sadly if you don't keep upgrading along the way ultimately it just becomes obsolete. (much like my tv signal in the coming weeks but that's for another blog post - Look soon for the exciting post on watching tv with the new improved dtv converter box. No more annoying snow!! Now we just get even more annoying pixelly drop outs and freeze frames!! Perfect for watching an exciting French Open tennis match like the one last weekend)
anyway . . .where was I? Oh yeah, my computer sucks donkey . . .well.. you know whats.
Sooo . . . Photoshop is closed now.
Final Cut Pro doesn't like me capturing video any longer than 6 seconds in duration before it starts acting like a colicky baby and my sound recorder won't even communicate with my computer. So yeah.
It seems my only solution is to invent and then buy the new Apple iQuit and go make art with paper and scissors and glue and stuff.
And donkey dicks.

Don't cry!

Here's a picture of your blogger trying to come up with something to write and hitting a wall. It's been that way of late. No apologies though.
In reality this was taken by my father moments after he put me on one of these springy rocking horses which i did not like so much. It's good to know he had the sense to snap this photo instead of consoling me.
Dads. Ya gotta love 'em.

Happy Easter

Whatever that means to ya . . .

Back from Hawai'i (more or less)

OK I'm trying my best to get back in the swing of life here in Minneapolis after a week of hanging on the island with great friends. But i have to admit 80 degree temps are more to my liking in March than what we got here. (33 at present.)
Below is a shot of my friend Tom i took with a cheap underwater camera I bought at Walgreens before the trip. There was a little cove at our resort where you could swim with sting rays 'n some other fish of color. Bright colors.

Damn turtles everywhere.

On Vacation

Am off to the island of Hawaii for a week with old high school friends.
See you in a week. Or so.

51 seconds of mini pong (in 3 parts)

Now that Spring has sprung (at least for today) we can get outside again without freezing our asses off. But during the Winter here in Minneapolis we are used to getting our exercise indoors. here's some footage taken at a friends house of us playing mini pong. (On a side note this is a great game to work on your tennis skills...i played doubles (indoors, of course) awhile back after playing a bunch of mini pong and my net game was AwesomE that day.
And I'm posting this because nobody "got" my oxymoronic film to the extent I intended except me. (Note to Self: Don't post videos while on Vitamin M)

Oxymoronic

I just found out this afternoon I won third place honorable mention for shortest film at the Oxymoronic Made Up Film & Video Festival in Millford, Connecticut.
Really. Trust me.

Today is spraypainted film day

Spraypainting and sprocketholes seems to be the order of the day here (of the month?)
now i'm spraying actual strips of 35mm film. always back to film it seems. although those canvas works look good (and big) these ain't too bad either. you might have to click on these to see any kind of details. dunno where these are headed but it's a direction nonetheless. The longest journey begins with a single step or something like that, right?

old post never published . . .

til now! (for good reason? i dunno gimme a break.)

when writing a today's scores post i had one that goes like this:

drawing outside the line 137
cue cards 2
this is the story of my life so far....need to even that score out more - might be more productive.
and narrative, for sure.
time will tell.

Hold Your Horses!

Sunrise lighting . .depends which way you point your lens..east or west. the west glows. the east is contrasty.

Good question for the 1970's game show, MatchGame . . .
"What would Jesus Blank?"

Astonomers, scientists, philosophers and physicists all getting together for a thinktank - after many months their paper comes out and states that the universe is almost definitely something.
After some arguments, they change this to almost certainly something.

to create a new genre of film simply look over the application form for any film festival. online applications make you click on such words as :
Experimental
Narrative
Subtitled
Black & White



make films where these aren't yes or no questions. it's a start.

Rejected working title for Our Bodies, Ourselves:

Ladies and Germs

If you attempt to reach higher
you already have.

new word for something that starts out very cool but then goes sour ~
Betty's new business was a huge success,
but then it sundanced.

Look for it all in his new book, Melancholy Olives! coming out this Fall!!

Stencils, Spraypaint & Sprocketholes

Have been spraypainting onto canvas the past couple weeks. Ed Lentsch was kind enough to give me some of his canvas scraps which happen to be the perfect size/dimensions for rendering some strips of film. Long and narrow. So I've been spraying a bunch (and breathing in a bit too, unfortunately). But I've got a few tests around here that are looking OK or so I think..

here's one (5 1/4" X 20") on canvas, stretched.
And yes, I am a Moon Child. I know, I know, not as cool as Aries but we Cancers try harder.

slapped together

This is slapped together and i make no apologies. i had some backgrounds layered and i put some titles in there. near the end one of my mattes went south - instead of 'fixing' it i just put another sound over the top of it. make it seem like it was planned. or something. boy this looks like hell online. the things that PoP! on my screen now just coalesce into a gravy of pseudo-prime colors. damn. Oh and thanks to Beethoven.

what i bought on ebay

(and why you should care)

OK I lied, the only reason I'm posting about this is so my farticle post won't be the first thing a person sees when they come to this blog. AND maybe, sorta because am thinking about starting a new subject for the future called "the photography of ebay"
for instance - nothing quite says Bach like an in ground pool backdrop.
Either way I got a new projector to pick up this weekend (it's local - i saved shipping)
and now my farticle post is further down the page where it belongs.

Farticle

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http://online.w
sj.com%2Farticle%2FSB121460099221711769.html.


Somebody recently sent me a link to an article and although i was unable to open it I noticed in the address very plainly in the middle there is the word farticle.

What exactly IS a farticle?
well this brings to mind a story from my past where Mark Petterson was more than a little miffed one day at having to smell his older brothers farts . . .his brother 's response? "If you're smelling it then some of my fart is IN YOUR NOSE right now." Hmmm. Of course, this brings up questions regarding physiology, olfactory senses and brotherhood for sure.

So yeah . .a farticle then is that small area of your fart that resides in someone else's nose.
There you have it! So who said Seemless Universe was nothing more than the meandering thoughts of an underemployed man? Who ?!! Who said that??!!
It's fucking Educational! or F'educational.

Now sure some of you are reading this and thinking . .THIS isn't why i visit this site, damn Miller.
oh well. come back again soon and we'll demonstrate how to send e-farticles.
The technology is almost there.

Peace, Love and Sheesh,
Miller

random journal entries

Faith in the Future

Dr. Reginald Fankfinder

Through the rain, the moon waned.

the newest anti depressant - Oblivium

I,
like many before me,
have licked from the bowl of love.

The short list of characters in the film:
Enrique Persisto

Lady Cummings

Chaz Memento

Glib Meevers

Wilvelma Serene

Jack Matters

Harvey "Spittoon" Smith

Sandy Apple

Big Dick Cox

Regina Magellan

Danforth Brandle

Falling under the spell of significance

Christianity is based on a certain draining of the human spirit -
a unique kind of shame.

DICK CHENEY BEFORE HE DICKS YOU

reality show that never took off - Valedictorian Island

I think i could enjoy life more
if it wasn't so damn persistent.

Chance, SuperChance & Coincidence

The menstruation cycle of the panda
is a topic that doesn't come up so much, I've learned.

Vague Rules!

Pilltopia

Jesus & Soupy:
A cross cultural study

This Life,
This Mystery

LISTENING TO TRAFFIC IS MORE ENJOYABLE
WHEN IT'S THE BAND.

Church Of The Holy Insignificance...

but in this realization
as in
the phrase
"if everything is an emergency
than nothing is an emergency"
THEN
if everything is insignificant than nothing is insignificant.

some days you just feel like a Total Diptych


Carrying on is a thing a person can do.

The play was blown dead.

Traveling in Place:
Journals From a Mind

Christianity - Nestled in goodness since before you were born!
This myth of a judgemental God - most intelligent people grow out of it but since it's couched in "goodness" and "niceness" - lots of people hold on tight.

Kazoo is a verb, too.

SHAVE THE WHALE

Prop Letters (Example LITB #27)

I found something online recently thats kinda funny and fits into the whole seemless universe mindset (if there is one). You may have seen some vintage photographs up on the top of the blog here in the past. I've been getting these from a great site called Shorpy.
Anyway this photo was submitted by "Dave" on the Shorpy site.. It's a shot from an episode of "Leave it to Beaver". It's pretty self explanatory.


Mr. Ward Cleaver
485 Mapleton Drive
Mayfield, State

My Dear Mr. Cleaver:

This paragraph has absolutely nothing to do with anything.
It is here merely to fill up space. Still, it is words,
rather than repeated letters, since the latter might not
give the proper appearance, namely, that of an actual note.

For that matter, all of this is nonsense, and the only
part of this that is to be read is the last paragraph,
which part is the inspired creation of the producers of
this very fine series.

Another paragraph of stuff. Now is the time for all good
men to come to the aid of their party. The quick brown
fox jumped over the lazy dog. My typing is lousy, but the
typewriter isn’t so hot either. After all, why should I
take the blame for these mechanical imperfections, with
which all of us must contend. Lew Burdette just hit a
home run and Milwaukee leads seven to one in the series.
This is the last line of the filler material of the note.
No, my mistake, that was only the next to last. This is last.

I hope you can find a suitable explanation for Theodore’s
unusual conduct.

Yours truly,

Cornelia Rayburn

This guy "Dave" even went so far as to date the letter October 2, 1958 as that was the day Lew Burdette homered in the World Series between the Yankees and the Braves - one month before this episode aired.

Books & Exactos

Have been cutting into the old books tonight - these hardback covers make nice canvaseses!

Got a bunch of 'em over here but have just scanned this trio. Dunno why i got into the night sky mode but what the hell.

1.20.09 - Hail To The New Guy

After that, Arnold walked backwards toward Sacramento.

A trickster always will
bedevil the scenario.

Another time around Wednesday, Buford trimmed Samantha.

All this attitude
was beginning
to smell.

And there's a whistle before the snap!

Act tender and wonder beliefs
that shine.

And then a white boy took shit.
Apparently the assembled
went back to Scranton.

Aries tugged ardently while beckoning those scenes.

Arguably, the atmosphere was
beginning to sweat.

And then Ann's wedding butt took sex.

Artists Television Access
was behind the screening.

All those assholes wanted Beatlejuice to show.

Augusta the Avenue wakens beautifully the soul.

Amherst's talented are
wondering 'bout that shit.

And the Average White Band tasted smooth.


Although the adverb wore britches,
things sucked.

Alienated Tacoma artists were braiding tryptych sinks.

Alexander Thomasino Amberson Wadsworth Bellington traded stocks.

Abbreviated talking allows wondering beyond the
smarts.

All these archaic words better total something.

Visual Sudoku

Numbers, Shnumbers. For those tired of those pedestrian 1 - 9 sudoku's here we have Seemless Universe's first picto-visual sudoku.
Picdoku? Symbodoku? Whatever you want to call - it's fun!
print out and play at home! or not! The picdoku doesn't care. It's just an inanimate e-object. (Are you?)

How Folks Find This Blog

So yeah, there is a section on my statcounter that shows me how some people have come to find my blog. If you go through a search engine they compile all the words or phrases the folks have used to look up information that brought them to your site. here then is a shortlist of some of these over the past month.


seemless universe

wanted on craigslist st. cloud c pap machine

michele bachmann coleman miller

i flunked around

liquid prell

artie miller blog

splank

paragraph with words

wing park elgin, il

idiot lines

practicing abstinence

college diploma blogspot

valse triste bruce connor

writing paragraphs and words

wwzs

splurn

given her eloquent way with words

paragraph about universe

writing paragraphs with certain words

eloquent words fancy

a paragraph about universe

beck radical congruency saturday night live video

male model universe

santa and religion

how to be eloquent

unidentified male 2008

excuses santa clause

box last night

recent resume

as the crow flies sentence

funny random sentences

santa claus (paragraph)

splank coleman

dipnard

temperatures
people





List of Things I Don't Like As Much When They Are in the Teens

47 words for back pain

As in a previous post where i named 82 words for Splank I now have an inner dictionary of terms for back pain,which is now easing up just enough to where i am able to sit and type for more than 2 minutes.
Here then are 47 words or phrases for back pain which i have recently experienced and am now documenting for the good of medical advancement:

skrunch

NYARK!!

firebucket

taking the agony train to nowhere

electric spine twinkle


ouch explosion
panic button
Simmering horizontals
Creeping Fludge urdles
happy go bye byes

Lurching into the next Wow

Paralyzing body announcements howyadoin?
Shuffling stingers WTF!

Bitchslap
Owowow

Excruciating inner thingys

Numbnuts

X-ClamationZ!!

Bending over ever so slowly very slowly very deliberately and slowly did I mention slowly and then WANGO!
Greiving nowness Screamers
HALT! HellNow
Stinging fireballs I – IV

Backsnap
ouchlings

Floorspasm

Surprise!

Backgrip

Dr. Payne and the 5 fingers of shit

exclamation givers

killmenows

not so vague nightmare

Posterior Malfeasance
can’tgetups
can'tgetdowns
malicious tribulation

acid tripDon’t touch me theres excruciating nowness
bubble pop

is there a pill for this?

backnoogy

lower back ouchy

readers,
when i get to a place where my twisted back can handle sitting down at the computer for more than 17 seconds i will be posting more bloggy stuff. until then i've got important things to do...like hobbling around my apartment like a 90 year old.
all cards, flowers and vicodin should be sent to my home address.

Dock Ellis R.I.P.

Dock Ellis the great pitcher with the Pittsburgh Pirates in the 70's has died.
Ellis went 138-119 with a 3.46 ERA from 1968-79. He went 19-9 in 1971 when Pittsburgh won the World Series, and made his only All-Star appearance that summer.
But the one game that he will be remembered for is in 1970 in San Diego. Dock got the news he was pitching the first game in a doubleheader even though he was not originally scheduled to pitch. So what do most people in 1970 do when they have the day off? That's right - they drop acid. And that's exactly what Dock did. Before he got the call.
Now you may be asking yourself - how bad did Dock Ellis pitch that day? Well for one he walked 8 batters. AND he pitched a no hitter. A fucking no hitter ON ACID!!
I'm guessing they won't be putting up a plaque about this in Cooperstown.
But it has to be of some help when your glove is telling you how to pitch to certain guys.
Either way Dock Ellis was a favorite of mine when I was still a little leaguer and had no clue of this story. R.I.P, Dock.

one week ago

today I'm layering myself in sweaters before going outside . .last week was a bit nicer while hanging art in southern california. damn.

Scintillating Film Theory Conversation Going On Over Here

It's good to have good friends you can talk about anything with.
I have a friend (let's call him "Shawn" to protect his identity) and he's learning about all things video. Wants to make short digital pieces and has already made a handful. He's actually been more prolific than yours truly of late but that's for another blog post.
So he's asking me all kinds of questions now since I've made a few. Plus I'm trying to turn him on to the masters. Bruce Conner. Ernie Kovacs. Tarkovsky. To name 3.
The other night he was over and i played him a Tarkovsky film. His films could be described as slow. But Brilliant.
Anyway we watch films and have scintillating conversations while watching.
For instance during this particular Tarkovsky film (The Stalker) "Shawn" got up to use the bathroom. Here then is that dialogue in it's entirety.

Miller: "Do you want me to pause this?"

"Shawn": "No, I'm not riveted to every moment" (Leaves living room and heads down the hall)

Miller: "That's cuz you're a DICK."

So yeah, we like to watch and discuss films. And I think I'm helping. It's important to get your ideas out. And even more important to have friends you can discuss film theory with that understand the rudiments of a healthy dialogue.

Religion!

ahhhhhhh...one of my favorite topics.
Saw this on youtube awhile back and have to say George Carlin is spot on. I couldn't put this any better myself but i will continue to try. In the meantime I'm gonna act all moral and upright and human just because it feels better, not so i can get into heaven.

Seemless Universe Xmas Card

I've been mailing out handmade christmas postcards to friends for about 30 years now. this is about the time of year i need to get my ideas together and get em out. some years i waited a bit too long and then sent out happy new years cards instead. this is probably more my speed anyway. this whole "son of god" thing is really a bit much dontcha think? i mean it's a cute story for sure but do we want to base our lives around it? i think not.
Wait! Was was that sound??!! Oh that must be my mother rolling over in her grave at her son writing this stuff. sorry mom. but you taught me well. Not that my mom was that religious . .(hell we were Methodists!...arguably the most unreligious of the religions..church was a place to kill time on Sunday morning before going to the Pancake House) She was quite an active participant around the church but in looking back I realize now it was all around the social events..not the religious. And the whole god thing didn't follow us back home. Here's the extent of our religion around the house on Augusta Avenue . . .we would say grace before Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter meals. That's it. And a few of those were from my Grandfather on my dad's side saying "Good bread, good meat, good god let's eat".
Anyway i digress...i was meaning to just say if you wanted to receive a Seemless Universe christmas/happy new year/ holiday card in the mail just send me your mailing address to splurn@aol.com, with the subject heading Where's my xmas card at?
if i get too many requests i'll have to put a kibosh on it but by the looks of the statcounter i should be OK. We'll see.
And here's another idea....dunno if this will take or not but here goes....if after sending me your address via my email- if you'd post your (snail mail) mailing address in the comment box you could choose a fellow reader and send them a card! how bout those apples?
this might be a bit much for people to want to give up on the internet but if you have another idea lemme know.
Sheesh...is this half baked or what?
we'll see!
And it looks like i'm leaving friday for L.A. and the southwest for a couple weeks so . . . .well, I'll keep ya posted.

A Way With Words: How To Be All Eloquent

The key to being more eloquenter than you were before is to articulate words in a fancy order that not only makes people think you know stuff but leaves them with a warm and somewhat fuzzy feeling about these things without really knowing why.
Most people aren’t born all eloquent and stuff. Remember – Even people who speak really, really good (Barack Obama, William F. Buckley, Tracy Morgan) did not start out with a headful of beautiful and transitory words at their disposal. They were small babies just like I and you, barely able to discern small differences between a spoon and a heart lung machine. Talking good takes hard work and some other stuff probably. I don’t have all the answers.
But I’m almost pretty sure that way, way back in the past words came first from the mouth and then later someone much smarter than you figured out how to render these words into a visual form of sorts - thus the written language some people still use today! In fact without this thought transformation to the page we wouldn’t have any blogs today. We would have skipped right to vlogs.
Conveying thoughts all eloquent with your mouth can be fun and profitable! I’m not sure where or how but I’ve heard this from people wearing clothes much newer than mine. I’m almost positive you could find out somewhere how to do this.

"Practicing abstinence, bride and groom have never kissed"

Who ARE these people??!!
And more importantly . . .Seemless readers can win a vhs copy of Weird Science if they can guess the date that Claudaniel Fabien (the groom) comes out of the closet. (yeah, you read that right.....Claudaniel Fabien.)
sheesh . .why do i even look at the news anymore? Fuck.
some poor schmuck working as a temp at Walmart got his Christmas Greetings early this year. Thanks America! And keep shopping! You Fat Fucks!

OK OK, I'll try and get back on the Happy Train before i write again...but don't hold your breath.. i may be heading into the dark tunnel of truthiness here for awhile...but maybe not. the future is a vague place for sure. You Never Know.

PS..and why a vhs of Weird Science? that was the first one i saw here in the pile that i didnt mind losing. OK? OK.

alright i'm off tonight to shoot another jazz show at Cafe Maude tonight. C'mon up if you're so inclined. Last nights was pretty damn good - and this from a guy not so into jazz so much kinda.

Today's Scores

PLUS Special Bonus Addendum!

Cubs 7
Dolphins 2

Sally Rogers 4
Travis Bickle 5

The Dead Sea 8
Swan Lake 3

Stuff that’s more perpendicular than you initially thought 5
Tommy John surgery 1

Ceramic protagonists 4
Semi dramatic underwear 3

Praising Allah 1
Waltzing Matildas 5

Tarzan 3
Mongo 8

The Herb Alpert Foundation 5
The Artie Miller Experience 6

your first carnival ride 4
Words that rhyme with Mussolini that aren’t pastas 2

Total Honesty 12
driving in your car alone and listening to songs on the radio that make you cry, whether out of sadness or happiness 8

Blondes 1
Brunettes 7

barbed wire 5
Barb Dwyer 3

Masturbating just for something to do 3
Alfieri, Bindo, Carlo, Ettore, Ernesto and Mario Maserati 2

Late bloomers 9
Early trousers 5

delusional realizations that feel like a frying pan to the face 3
Pickup Sticks 8

Penis envy 5
Testicular cancer 2

Do not pass Go 3
Do not collect $200 1

Nymphomania 6
Lester Holt 2

Where Miller sometimes goes for inspiration while writing “Today’s Scores” 2
Jeopardy! 3

Stormy Monday 8
Ruby Tuesday 5

Going down 11
Getting up 0



So Yeah folks there are your scores for today. Who woulda thought masturbating for something to do would beat some italian brothers who make cars.
and now for the hell of it here are some outtakes from recent and not so recent Todays Scores...ones that didn't make the final cut for whatever reason.

Hillary Swank’s Publicist.
Getting that thing on your back removed. Lining up end to end every toilet you’ve ever used, chronologically.

Sasha Obama
The economic pendulum Moustache wax
The Great Patchouli Workplace Conflict Birthdaygasms How the whole idea of Rosie O’Donnell has affected your life

Pakistanis When push comes to love Vinyl Cut Pro

the odds of hearing a Steeler's Wheel song on the radio that ISN'T "Stuck In The Middle With You".

French clothespins

Traversing the known Protracted inebriations
Head Feeling like the Best of the Fest and leaving like an honorable mention Purple

The Glasgow Menagerie Like kindergarten, only more so Letters of the alphabet that could be described as “curvy”.

Time, but without the numbers

Don Knotts Taking six weeks to pull off a band-aid Levitra takers who had a four hour erection but didn’t call their doctor

3 dead roses, for instance

Four sided triangles

Albanian panhandlers

Howard Roark

The third thingamajig from the right

Lithuanians who play Twister

Listening to Chaka Kahn sing “Sweet Thing” while dancing slow with your wife in a candlelit room.

hey miller

A SeemlessUniverse reader asks: hey Miller who are your influences? and i say theres alot but here's eight for starters. i'm sure I'll think of eight more some night when i haven't written shit for awhile and need to fill some space here and anyway Brian Regan is on Conan in a minute so i'm gonna hit 'publish post' and speaking of i think i'll let you all peak behind the curtain as it were here at Seemlessuniverse...this is what it looks like from here

so there

excuses

OK here i am writing to explain why i haven't been writing of late.
I've got a big grant proposal due early next week I've been putting off for a variety of reasons we don't need to go in to here. But my head is on straight now Readers and I am diving into it. So I will be back at the blog again by late next week with the usual word-antics and whimsical thoughts regarding things and stuff. Trust me.
In the meantime here's a photo of my sis and her friend Maryann Moeller from years gone by.

yours truly
Coleman Miller
Assistant to the Junior Vice President, TeamMiller

A Happy Day!

Getting back on track.







good riddance.

Sudoku For The Not Really So Bright

Uso Justo playing in Venice (Filmmaker in attendance)

Venice Beach that is. So hey you southern California readers come on out.
its at 7 Dudley Cinema. this wednesday the 29th. 8 pm.
Appropriately at 7 Dudley Avenue.
I'll be there with bells on. maybe literally.

Michele Bachmann Calls SeemlessUniverse anti-American

ST. PAUL, Minn. (AP) _ Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann says she regrets using the term "anti-American" while discussing Coleman Miller's Blog Seemless Universe, a remark that could threaten her re-election bid.

Bachmann told the St. Cloud Times on Tuesday that she "made a big mistake" by going on MSNBC's "Hardball," a show she said she'd never seen before her appearance last week. Her statement to host Chris Matthews that Seemless Universe "may have anti-American views" drew condemnation and helped her opponent, Democrat Elwyn Tinklenberg, raise more than $1 million in just a few days.

Earlier in the day, Bachmann told St. Cloud Rotary Club members she would like to "take back" the statement.

"I did not say that Seemless Universe was anti-American, nor do I believe Seemless Universe is anti-American. Coleman Miller loves his country, just as everyone in this room does," she told the crowd. "Nor did I call for an investigation of members of the blogosphere for their pro-American or anti-American views. That is not what I said."

Miller could not be reached for comment as he is shooting a commercial for Target in the South of France. TeamMiller spokesperson Jim Williams had this to say: "Tinklenberg? ELWYN TINKLENBERG?!! Damn, Miller's gonna wish he'd thought of that one."

Bachmann said that while she didn't question Miller's patriotism, "I'm very concerned about Seemless Universe's views. I don't believe that socialism and nonsensical wordplay is a good thing for America. But then again I'm just a haggard old bitch from the suburbs with the curiosity of a doorstop so what do I know."

Sound Unseen 9

The SoundUnseen Film Fest starts this week. Check it out. I saw a few screeners and it looks like a pretty good line up with something for everyone.
I watched a screener this week - Of All The Things, a doc on Dennis Lambert. Who the hell is Dennis Lambert you ask? He's a realtor living in Boca Raton. Sounds exciting so far, huh? It turns out this guy wrote the soundtrack to my life from junior high through high school. I don't think i ever bought one of his records but if you were near a radio in the 70's you've heard his work. Dennis Lambert was an 11-time Grammy-nominated songwriter and producer for the Four Tops (Ain't No Woman), Jefferson Starship (We Built This City), Player (Baby Come Back), Coven (One Tin Soldier), Hamilton, Joe Frank and Reynolds (Don't Pull Your Love), Tavares (It Only Takes A Minute) and The Commodores (Nightshift).
So now he's showing homes in Boca and it turns out he's big in the Philippines. REALLY big. His one solo album (which went nowhere) has the song Of All The Things on it and Filipinos are nuts for it. It's their unofficial Valentines song and young and old lovers just get all gushy thinking about it. He finally relinquishes and goes on a mini tour of the place. Things go well. sort of.
It screens this Saturday and Sunday at St. Anthony Main. Check the link for times.

10/11/08

Last Saturday was a Grand Opening for Ed Lentsch and the Artist League. I wish I could have invited everybody I know but it was a private thang mostly for Ed and his clients. There will be more parties here.
Anyway here is a very, very short clip of the event with an accent on my work being shown that night.

And The Winner Of Tonight's Debate Is.....

Joe the Plumber.

in the interest of unfairness

In the interest of unfairness, the Senate today has passed an unprecedented resolution to spot the Chicago Cubs ten runs tonight in their game against the evil doers, the LA Dodgers.
"This should even out the playing field a little bit and make our baseball economy even more robuster than it was before", said Jack Reed (D - Rhode Island). "Those lovable Cubbies are down 2 games to zip. If our government isn't allowed to change the rules mid game then what chance does democracy and capitalism have?"
"C'mon!", added Arlen Spector.

Seemless Universe's $700 Billion Bailout Plan

As of today Seemless Universe and Frapulous Tranding, Inc. is offering a $700 Billion prize to anyone who can prove the existence of God.

Or the nonexistence.

Good Luck To All!

Today's Scores

Cubs 7
Brewers 3

Bo Schembechler 8
Fonzy 2

Curtis Mayfield 11
home field advantage 9

Joe Lieberman’s reasons 2
Soupy Sales 8

thoughts in the wee small hours 9
unsubstantiated fascinations 2

smoke signals 6
text messaging 0

reading existential paperbacks while vacationing in Patagonia 7
Jackson Pollack’s boundary issues 5

Wolfgang Puck 2
Hugh Beaumont 8

Fiddle Faddle 3
collecting and trading Sarah Palin pap smears 1

Transcendental vegetation 7
Your Tostitos Halftime Report 4

a statement that appears unrelated to a statement that it follows 3
nonsequitors 3

Jeff Koons 1
choking on your own vomit 5

the time that guy did that thing at the party 6
Morey Amsterdam 7

Roald Dahl’s James and the Giant Peach 7
Echo and the Bunnymen 6

Receiving the French Order of Merit for Illustrious Cowardice 2
Junior Varsity Cheerleaders 8

Candy stripers 3
Soda jerks 4

legally changing your name to Birdy Putz 2
vaguely wondering about that 6th grade “pinata incident” 11

canker sores 2
cannon fodder 7

Establishing your running game 5
wandering Jews 6

muttonchops 4
rabbit ears 6

making up names at your keyboard 8
Fartface Mcgee 7

eating cucumber sandwiches on the veranda while wearing and discussing clothes 2
Jerry Reed 8

metaphorical half-pints 5
“John Cage’s Adam’s apple” said ten times really fast 11

stereotypes 3
daguerreotypes 9

printing a dupe negative from your interpositive to save your original camera negative from wear and tear 8
tuna fish 3

Paul Newman 11
Ann Coulter’s dried up coochie 1

What passes for entertainment around here.

Bush Speaks

I've been noticing of late on broadcast TV a lot of sound problems. A couple weeks ago I watched a preseason football game (yes i really did) on Fox and a beautiful thing happened. The microphones on the announcers weren't coming through. At all. So i was able to enjoy the game hearing just the sounds on the field. They should do this for real. It made the game immensely more watchable.
Last week at the Republican Convention George Bush spoke via satellite to the crowd in St. Paul. NBC was airing it and we got to enjoy W's speech without the reaction of the crowd. A major mistake for the network but a coup for anyone who enjoys Out Of Context Theater. Here's a clip from the speech:

Writing a Paragraph of Words

Writing a paragraph of words in a particular order is a thing a person can do. Almost a certain randomness is nice. And sometimes not so almost. Of course words written on a page in and of themselves are just angular and curvy doodles with a semblance of something a person might call order. Taking these words and translating them badly on the internet is also a thing a person can do.

The points of the words in a fragmentary order is a thing, that it can make a person. Contingency nearly determined is pleasant. And nearly not so sometimes. However the words, that they are written automatically in a side inside, are hardly angle irons and scratch. Which are with an appearance something a curvy person could designate order. These words to take and them translate are seriously also a thing the one person can to do in this internet.

Frustratingly Short Blog Post

So Dear Readers I was all excited to have a blog post entitled "Celebrity Names That Are Also Sentences" but i could only come up with one.

Norman fell.

another sculpture (silent)

here's a test to see how pixelated this shot gets on blogspot..
the shot looks damn good on my computer... very sharp, literally. Let's see if it holds up here on the blog. . . .




ten minutes later . . .
P.S. looks ok. a little sharpness gone but ok for a free video hosting site.

Curvy Doodles #319R